A Therapist’s Take on Good Inside:

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably had moments where you’ve wondered:

“Am I handling this the right way?”

Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy is a popular parenting book that focuses on connection, emotional safety, and understanding behavior. But what does it actually teach—and how helpful is it?

Let’s break it down.

This book may be helpful if:

• You want to respond to your child with more patience
• You’re trying to understand behavior, not just manage it
• You want a more connected approach to parenting

You may want to go slow if:

• You’re feeling burned out or overwhelmed
• You’re looking for very quick, step-by-step fixes

The main idea of this book is:

Kids are good inside—even when their behavior is hard.

Instead of focusing only on correcting behavior, the book focuses on:

• Understanding what’s underneath the behavior
• Building connection
• Teaching skills over time

One of the strongest ideas in this book is:

Behavior is a signal, not just a problem.

When a child is:

• Melting down
• Acting out
• Shutting down

There is usually something deeper going on:

• Big emotions
• Frustration
• Feeling overwhelmed

Understanding this helps shift your response.

One of the most helpful ideas in this book is:

Two things can be true at the same time.

A child can:

• Feel angry
• Be upset
• Have big emotions

…and at the same time, there are still boundaries.

For example:

• “I see that you’re really angry.”
• “I won’t let you hit.”

Both are true. Children are allowed to have their feelings.

But it’s also the parent’s role to:

• Keep them safe
• Set clear limits
• Stay steady in those moments

This teaches children:

• Their feelings are okay
• Their behavior still matters
• They are safe, even when things feel big

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I want to show up differently, but I’m not sure how,” you’re not alone.

Parenting is hard, and most of us weren’t taught these skills growing up.

If it feels helpful, you can reach out here to ask questions or explore support.

One of the most helpful parts of this book is how relatable it is. The examples feel like real parenting moments—not perfect situations.

This helps parents feel:

• Less alone
• Less judged
• More understood

Dr. Becky talks about something called Play No Phone (PNP) time.

This is simple, but powerful:

• Set aside time to be fully present
• No phone, no distractions
• Just connection with your child

In a world where technology pulls our attention away, this matters more than ever.

One of the most important ideas in the book is:

It’s never too late to repair.

Even though early childhood (especially ages 1–4) is important, relationships are not fixed in that window.

Parents can:

• Apologize
• Reconnect
• Repair after hard moments

This is what actually builds trust over time.

The book also talks about Deep Feeling Kids (DFKs).

These are kids who:

• Feel emotions more strongly
• React more intensely
• May need more support to regulate

Instead of trying to “fix” them, the goal is to:

• Understand them
• Support them
• Help them build skills over time

One of the biggest takeaways in this book is:

Your child’s behavior is not their identity.

A child can:

• Act out
• Struggle
• Have big emotions

…and still be good inside.

This idea is at the heart of the book—and it changes how parents respond.

As parents begin this journey, something else often becomes clear:

Parenting brings up your own experiences.

Your reactions are shaped by:

• Your childhood
• Your stress
• Your own emotional patterns

As parents do their own work, it often strengthens the relationship they have with their children.

Dr. Becky also created the Good Inside app, which includes:

• Guidance for real-life parenting situations
• Videos and learning modules
• Tools to support parents along the way

For many parents, this helps them feel:

• Supported
• Less alone
• More confident

Some of the examples can feel like:

• “I should always respond calmly”
• “I should always get this right”

In real life, that’s not always possible. Just like we view our children as good inside, the same is true for us as parents.

And just like we teach that two things can be true, that also applies to us:

We can feel upset, annoyed, or angry—and still be a good parent.

It’s okay for children to see their parents have emotions.

When handled in a healthy way, it teaches them:

• Emotions are normal
• Emotions are safe
• There are ways to handle them without hurting others

For example, if a child throws food on the floor, a parent might say:

“I’m not going to let you throw your food. I’m going to move it to the counter now.

I feel really angry inside right now. I’m going to take a few slow breaths to help my body calm down.”

Then model:

• Slow inhale
• Slow exhale

This shows the child:

• A clear boundary
• Honest emotion
• A healthy way to cope

We’re not trying to hide emotions—we’re showing how to handle them.

These ideas are simple—but not always easy.

They take:

• Time
• Repetition
• Patience with yourself

At first glance, this book can seem simple. But that doesn’t mean it lacks depth. Dr. Becky draws from years of research, experience, and different models of understanding children and families.

The reason it can feel less “deep” is because:

• The ideas are explained in a clear, approachable way
• They are meant to be used in real-life situations
• Every parent and child is different

In reality, there is a lot of depth behind what she teaches. It just shows up in a way that feels practical and usable.

If there’s one idea to hold onto, it’s this:

Your child is not giving you a hard time—they are having a hard time.

And also:

Your child is good inside, even when their behavior is hard.

This is a helpful and approachable parenting book.

But real change often happens when you also:

• Understand your own reactions
• Learn regulation skills
• Get support when needed

You don’t have to do this perfectly.

Yes, this book is worth reading—especially if you want a more connected approach to parenting.

It’s not about being a perfect parent. It’s about building a strong relationship over time.

If you’re wanting to parent differently, that’s a meaningful step. And if you’re feeling stuck or unsure, that’s okay too.

If you’d like support—for yourself or your family—you’re welcome to reach out or schedule a time to talk.

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• Or Contact Us with any questions